mart and ellen says: update!

and so i shall.

i yearn to blog, and there are things to talk abt. but everytime i click "new post", it all seems to leave me. not that they are forgotten. rather, i feel like all literary competence in me has dissolved and all i can do is stare at the blankness, destitute and thirsty for just that little bit of inspiration.

i feel like i blog best when i'm not actually blogging. that is, when i go about my daily undertakings, ideas, phrases and sentences surface in mind, especially in times of pensive reflection, but when i'm actually here, any ability to conjure up meaning simply departs.

ARGH.

btw mart i love how you blog. :)



sthg on my hp wallpaper to remind me of the light ahead:



:D

and once the other details are settled (like dates for london, munich etc), they shall be lovingly filled into the other boxes. :) heheh.




it's been two weeks. lots of things have happened. wave after wave of events, wave after wave of emotions, of reflective moments, highs and lows.

for record's sake (a purpose of blogging i highly value), i shall skim through the tangible events.


confessions of a shopaholic with ellen, submission of mktg group report and indiv assignmt and getting the latter back (:D), tragic news from someone close

Good Friday musical drama, D/B, attending the wake of someone's grandfather in queenstown, L/E

german sem test + results, last german classes :(

plus, the cosy getaway every fri in a certain bt.timah abode, with the company of mel/mel (or both), sok, yingmin, amenda, ben, joel, etc. where lessons are learnt, friendships forged, and faiths reaffirmed. :)


i love amenda. she's such a little miss small. i love her company so much, love how she's so quiet and reserved but when we talk there's chemistry. love how we click. love the 151 rides after her class at 6 on fridays (with sok sometimes), the jokes we share, waiting outside mel's house entertaining the mosquitoes with our blood and music....

:)



it's reading week. i shall have to buck up, in order to taste sweet liberation in all its fullness on 6 may.


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when i move out in future, one thing i will always rmb is the times mum and i spent laughing and being amused by(and sometimes imitiating, but that's just mum) the sweet songs of the birds outside the kitchen.

no, seriously.

if you take time to listen to the birds, you'll find it so delightful. they have such cutely different cries. endearing sounds. always stirring delight in us. moments where mummy and i share more than a good laugh. :)


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i had wanted to post this eons ago, when little nyonya was still airing. the lyrics of the theme song are so exquisitely crafted. with the music it comes across so richly, so beautifully.

such deeply eloquent yet aptly subtle expressions, condensed into verses that weave in ever so nicely with the drama.


i post this not for anyone's eyes, but for me to rmb how these chinese words awed me so incredibly. if they are the work of a singaporean, bravo. i am blown away, indeed.

愿意合上眼才能美梦无边
别让悔熏乌了从前
也许碎片才能让回忆展颜
何妨瓷花拼凑明天

谁带我寻获幸福的模
却自己谜中困锁
谁为我留下缱绻的天涯
信物是抹晚霞

Chorus:
思念如燕它飞舞舌尖
若是真爱配尝几分苦甜
意念婆娑 时间里推磨
追随到何处才结果

燕如针线在青空缝编
几幅女红将以泪缀点
誓言斑驳 情雾只是经过
风雨中且让我盈步婀娜

speaking of chinese words, i realize that frequently, in order to fulfil my need to record certain things that, unfortunately, cannot be worded explicitly, i take pains to make those parts of my posts obscure and abstruse (with highly cryptic verses).

it's not easy, you know, writing obliquely.

and then i realized, i can actually write them in chinese.

bcos then i can be sure no one would bother to read them (as most s'poreans, lamentably, find it bothersome to do), and so i can have greater degree of liberty of expression.

ahah. ;D




i'm really going to miss marketing lects every mon with weijin and yiting. :(







i guess i will never be able to talk abt it freely, not even to my closest friends. i will never be able to express or articulate myself so clearly the way i did that night to God. even if i can put it so transparently into words (which i did that night), i will never do it here, nor can i share it with anyone in conversation. i can never let others know how i feel abt it. it shall be my dark secret forever.

"it", you are so many things to me.

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what is this? what is this? i should be happy for them, no? then why - ?